The whole thing’s a mistake,
If only she had died that time
in hospital, when she was sick,
She wanted to, she had seen
what it was like,
she was ready, a little nudge
was all she would need,
she said, to tip her over the edge.
When it didn’t happen, as desired,
It took courage to go on, not to die.
Life, lived well, might promise
some sort of wisdom, some vision,
But she isn’t holding her breath.
A gray mist,
as thick as any on the high seas,
obscures the path she has chosen.
Her mind, once vibrant, has become
Less reliable. Her body, once active,
has begun to break down.
So many things she’d been able to do
she can no longer do. Worst of all
is the feeling of isolation.
She will have to wait it out,
get used to it,
and remember she is not in command,
but something wholly other.